From to wide receiver to striker

The unlikely Sporting KC trialist

Six-time Pro Bowler, Chad Ochocinco, holds 10 Bengals franchise records. But 12 years ago he added another accolade to his resume: MLS trialist. That’s right, during the 2011 NFL lockout, Ochocinco landed a four-day trial with MLS team, Sporting Kansas City.

On his first day, the first team trained to the side as journalists packed the sidelines to watch Ochocinco. The NFL veteran hit one touch passes and shot rockets at the gloveless equipment manager. After over a decade without touching a soccer ball, he lacked technical ability but showed promise—except when it came to crossing the ball.

The players loved having Ochocinco around and he wanted to stay, saying “I’d play for free.” On the last day of the trial, he suited up for a reserve game against a bunch of college kids.

6 '1 Ochocinco towered over his marker and boxed him out like a stud. But unfortunately it wasn’t enough to earn a contract.

Everyone from the head coach to the players praised Ochocinco for improving over the course of the week. He even bought everyone a steak dinner.

But imagine what could’ve been if he stayed at it. He could’ve gone from eating McDonalds breakfast and scoring touchdowns to still eating McDonalds and banging in goals!

Was his trial a media stunt? Probably. Did both parties win in the end? Yeah, one could say that. But most importantly, did Ochocinco sport that iconic #85 jersey in a reserve game against a bunch of 18 year olds?

You better believe it.

Prayers before kickoff

Barcelona’s sacred tunnel

Soccer tunnels are home to pre-game tension. Players stand tall and avoid eye contact, resembling Trojan and Greek warriors on the brink of battle.

Many teams use the physical area to intimidate their opponents, seen in Schalke’s coal mine tunnel. Other teams keep it simple with bare walls.

But few have what Barcelona does.

Football in Barcelona is sacred and holy. Locals treat the game like religion, which explains why inside the Camp Nou’s tunnel is a chapel.

The Catalonian region is predominantly Catholic. Unlike the stadium bleachers, the chapel is small and intimate. Inside is a statue of the Madonna and the Child, stained glass windows and religious artwork.

Before kickoff, Barcelona players sit in the chapel to pray about the game, their teammates…and maybe their 1-billion-dollar club debt.

Whatever lies ahead for the Camp Nou in years to come, its chapel remains a unique sentiment to the culture and history surrounding Catalonia and the Barcelona team.

Beef of the week 🥩

Depop Soccer Ball Seller

Sometimes I use Depop to bid on vintage soccer shirts and old jerseys. Last week I was scouring through used soccer ball listings and came across this rare Nike Nigeria ball.

I’m going to blur the seller’s name but let’s say it’s something like…Blake. The ball is fresh, I won’t lie, and Blake listed it for $80 two years ago.

In that time frame Blake could’ve worn out the ball. Perhaps the colors are faded or the Nike logo is scuffed up. Heck, for all I know, Blake could’ve used it to practice French kissing.

Plus, $80 is a lot for a soccer ball. After adding depreciation, analyzing Nike’s market value and taking out a few bucks for John Mikel Obi’s retirement, I had a more realistic number.

I sent my offer.

I came in low, hoping Blake was intimidated by my bartering wizardry. I learned a lot about how Blake handles business through his response.

He didn’t flinch. I didn’t appreciate the laid back lingo either. But I was willing to give it another shot.

So I sent another offer.

A five-dollar increase. I hoped it showed I was a compromiser. I wanted us both to be happy.

Blake hit me back, this time more official in his response.

Blake wasn’t fazed and continued to be stubborn. That’s so him.

From what little I know about Blake, he seemed like a cool dude: the type of guy you could play FIFA with in silence or ask to guest play on your IM team.

But I wondered what his end goal was with this whole ball selling thing. Was his listing just for show? Maybe he wanted to flex on dudes like me with no balls (figuratively…and in terms of soccer balls, literally).

So I asked him straight up.

I was trying to get it off Blake’s hands, give him some pocket change and rip bangers. Easy formula. I was eager to hear his motives.

And he replied.

Classic Blake. Adamant on his price. But I wasn’t going to let him off that easy. I was honest with Blake and tried to have an intervention.

Ignore my improper grammar. I was heated and my fat thumbs spit out something illiterate. But you know what I meant.

My intention was to let Blake down easy. It’s been two years man, it’s time to give it up.

The ball would sit safely in a basket by my front door. I’d bring it to pickup game and not bring any attention to it. Instead I’d let others notice it first and say, “How’d that fella get a ball like that?”

But Blake didn’t care much, hitting me back with this:

I took it as sarcasm and a bit of embarrassment. I figured I had bothered Blake enough, so I left him alone.

I still want the ball but can’t figure out how.

Hopes are high as he’s lowered the price tag by $2. My low balling must’ve affected his self-confidence.

This isn’t the end of me and Blake. Updates to come.

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