CEO Flamini is hiring

Bio-science is life bro

Matthieu Flamini, former Arsenal and AC Milan midfielder, is a multi-billionaire after becoming CEO of GF Biochemical. It’s the first company to mass produce levulinic acid, a potential substitute for gasoline.

I want a billion dollars so I applied to a GF Biochemical technician job in France. I know how to switch my grandma’s television from HDMI 1 to HDMI 2, so I’m qualified.

The role description was in French and instead of google translating it, I decided to just improvise and apply based on what I thought it said.

Still awaiting my decision letter, so here’s a snippet.

Dear Flamini & GF Biochemicals,

Go Gunners lol. Honestly bro, don’t remember anything you did on the pitch but you’re a billionaire now so what’s good 😜

I may have lost $500 investing in Meta stock, but my gf says I’m all about dat money. She even calls me cute little nicknames like, “cheap bastard.”

Anyway if you give me job, we could play FIFA in the employee lounge and throw gold fish in each other’s mouths from our respective cubicles.

Money is green and so is your energy. Let’s make it happen.

PS: I may not know much about bio-mass or biochemicals, but a duo like us would be a biozone. Bio is life bro 🔥

Fingers crossed for an acceptance letter.

The story behind an iconic soccer image

Ball to da face

Soccer meme accounts have blasted this image for decades.

Pictured is a player getting absolutely sucker punched by an ‘05 Nike ball. People made it their Facebook profile picture and it was printed in middle school science books.

But no one knows the story behind the iconic, soccer photo.

The player pictured is French midfielder, Eric Carriere. He was also a very honorable player in his time. Carriere spent his entire career in Ligue 1 and earned 10 caps for France. He won four Ligue 1 titles, three of them back to back with Lyon.

The photo is from a 2005 UEFA Cup match in which he played for French club, Lens.

It’s unfortunate such an unappealing image of Carriere went viral online.

But from the looks of his Instagram, Carriere has since recovered from the incident. He’s been drinking a ton of wine and working as a TV game analyst.

He even met off brand Ozzy Osbourne!

Recruiting Balogun

Future USMNT striker?

Reims striker, Folarin Balogun, has been spotted in Orlando over the weekend.

In recent years, U.S. Soccer has won over dual nationals like Sergino Dest, Yunas Musa and Alejandro Zendejas. There’s no reason why they can’t win over Balogun. Right?

Balogun’s situation is similar to Musah as both represented England at the youth level. American fans also praised Musah on social media, as they are with Balogun.

Balogun’s trip to Orlando to meet with U.S. Soccer officials and watch the game against El Salvador was a great first step in recruiting. Partying and watching baseball was a nice added layer.

But if U.S. Soccer really wants to recruit Balogun, they have to do more. What’s the cherry on top?

A few ideas would be a personalized message from Kid Rock. Another is a rocket joy ride with Elon Musk. Perhaps Balogun would enjoy a full course steak dinner with Dwayne Johnson?

Whatever it takes, get this guy on the team.

We want to hear your thoughts. Send us your Balogun recruiting idea to the email, [email protected] 

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